Monday, December 8, 2014

Friday of the months;

Hey everyone,

December is here. As I heard they call it “Friday of the months”; Meaningful, nah?
For me somehow it’s really a big, cloudy Friday!

I had a rough two weeks. There was this fucked up problem with my working visa and no one seemed to care enough to manage it. I was not in charge, otherwise I would do whatever it took to make it right.

Anyway, now it’s all ok. It’s fine now.
But it was like a sudden fist on my face to wake me up. I had to start somewhere. And I was lost. I am lost. But now at least I made a plan. I hope I can stick to it.

I am writing my new year resolution. It’s been one week now that I keep adding stuff into my list. When the time comes I will share it with you guys of course. It has three parts:

-Things to be done
-Things to be bought
-Things to work on

It has spiritual and physical perspective. I mean after all these lists that I have been making on daily basis, of course I get good at making one detailed one for new year.

You can also do it. I made a file in Google Drive, which by the way has a new UI.

Below I am putting the links that these days are making my days: )

For ones who love cooking: 

For ones who want a new playlist these days: 

Also try The National of course! 

Have fun.

Love you all. 

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Childhood days;

I want to believe that there’s nothing in the world like right and wrong.
I want to believe that our lives is about feelings, passion.

My mind is like diving into complicated feelings. Life has been hard lately. And I am tired of exploring my reasons for it. I want to be as much strong as I can, but these paradox in feelings are hitting me to the walls of I-don’t-know-what-the-fuck-is-going-on, and it’s so frustrating.
Music is trying its best to make me free of these tight strings. I am afraid of the day that music also fails.

Words words words. Faces. Believes. Talks. They are all around me, they are all in my head and I am carrying this huge tons of sadness that I even do not know where I’ve picked up.

I watched Elham’s animation today again. She made it when her dad died couple of years ago. And I started crying. Lately I cry a lot at work. And for some reason I cannot share them with B. My feelings feel stupid and unreal while facing him. I have not decided if it’s a good thing or not.

I need someone.

I don’t know who he/she is. 

Tuesday, December 2, 2014


Some days I think me and Cat, we write for each other here!

Cat, where is Silviye? : )

Tonight I will go to Ayo concert.


Love . Love. 

Friday, November 14, 2014

Wild wave, take me there:)


Yesterday was a long day. Not because I worked 14 hours in a row in office, but because as I looked at my watch it was not changing at all.

I’ve started a one week challenge of not complaining. Sometimes it’s hard to keep the promise. But I will. In the last four days I broke my promise 2 times. I need this weekend. 

The only thing that keeps my mind busy is to be able to stand on a wave. That's it. 

Love you all. 

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

One Day;

Yeah. I did start to run again. Actually now that I think I don’t remember why I used to run?
I think it makes it special, like a real desire of the heart. Hm?

Yesterday I came across my 2014 resolution in my journal and I saw that I have done 2/3rd of it without even realizing. And it made me proud.

I put my goal to surf. For that I need to work on my body. Running and yoga is good, but not enough. Besides I am not a good yogi or runner. I have to work much more.

Maya got sick and she seems so weak to me lately. After this weekend I have to spend some time with her. She’s so cute and every day I come to work I miss her so much.

Each day, in the morning that I wake up and I remember that I the night before I went running, I just cannot help it but have the big smile on my face.

What about you?

What made you smile today?

P.S. I found this website by the way, it seems a good place to make your lists.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Loving life;

Life goes on and there’s not a single day which I can stop my mind from wandering around.

I am starting to get use to my job. It is not that tiring that is used to be. We often work on the rebranding of news channels. Preparing presentation for these project is my main job. They say I have a really good eye for finding right references. Of course I do. I used to take photos all the time. I call myself an artist. How can someone be an artist without having an artistic point of view?
Lately I am focusing on Human stories. Forgotten people. I searched for the countries in war, countries with highest raping rates, no human rights, violence and genocide. Every day when I am looking at these news & photos I just start to cry. I have puffy eyes at lunch.

But this is life, isn’t it?!

And I love it. I love my life, all my little fights with B besides long kisses and endless laughs. I love my cute dog, Maya. I love my thoughts even when they are negatives. I love my challenges towards fading them. And I love you all.

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