Monday, May 25, 2015

Divergent;

Something strange has happened to me.

Last night out of blue, I watched “Divergent”. I don’t know if you have seen it or not..
It’s about life in Chicago after war, the city is totally destroyed. People are divided to different factions. Everyone has to enter one category and live and work there by the category rule. The story is a about a girl who turns out to be a “Divergent”. She does not belong to any faction. The society is afraid of her. She has hard time finding the right thing to do. I mean it’s a simple Hollywood movie with its own high-points and low-points.

Today as I was thinking about some scenes of the movie, I realized that I have been thinking about the content of the movie very deeply since last night.
I got to think about the factions, my deepest fears and the reality of who I am. The result and the feeling was really interesting. I think the writer has picked the factions very wisely. And the fact that if you don’t belong to any specific faction then you are unique, and rebel and much more capable than others made my heartbeat raise.
If you have been reading my blog you should already know by now that I have this serious struggle with myself to find the thing that I am here for, to find myself useful. And as I have lots of passions I can not finish one therefore I am jumping all over the place, just a sip of each action, hobby. It makes my surroundings a bit unsteady. Seems like they don’t trust me with my decisions. I am not sure if I am describing it right but I felt really really close to Tris character in the movie while she was struggling to hide the fact that she’s divergent.


I just believe that I am one step closer to the truth.

Love.

eL.


Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Live your life;

Desire.
Wish.
Hope.

These words are really important. You have to realize them. You have to analyze the deepest bits of meaning which has buried inside.

Are you asking why?

I’ll let you know. With these words you live happier. You make other people’s lives happier place.
And it’s important.


It’s important to live happily. 


Wednesday, April 29, 2015

May all the wishes come true;

My friend sent me a message:

"Elina, I wish you the wind so it takes you straight to the ocean where you can surf".

How beautiful and awesome is this wish?!

Love.xo

eL.


Monday, April 27, 2015

Joy, love and peace;

I am back to Istanbul.

Cappadocia was awesome. The landscape was breath-taking. All those caves and stones were just so beautiful.
From the second day the weather got better so we could go out and explore the valleys and open air museums around. i will post the photos in flickr shortly.

With Mark and Jessica we walked, talked and laughed. We talked about life, love, death and how amazing life can be. We talked a lot about how I should record this video that I want to send to surf office, at the end we didn’t. When I got back I recorded it on the way to Mina’s house. I sent them last night. Let’s hope for the best. Cat says, “you should not be worried about things you can not control”, and I keep repeating it to myself.

Back to Cappadocia, I met a group of friends and we had such a good time with all of them. It’s really interesting when people come out of their shells and how they share, laugh together.
I really appreciate it.

I am busy right now and can’t write the way I want.

Enjoy the photo below till I share rest of them on flickr:)



Bests.

eL.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Take it easy;

Tonight I will go to Cappadocia. It’s a city in the mountains in east part of Turkey and it’s famous for its cave houses and balloons.
How surreal.

I still have not got the time to make my movie which I want to send to the Surf Office. Maybe I shoot it in Cappadocia. It’s pretty much cold there though.
Jessica and Mark are still here. Having them around is so much fun and actually I am starting to think I will really miss them when they continue their trip!
They gave me lots of inspiration to pursue my dreams and send lots of energy for the internship :)


These days I am thinking that life really can be very easy when you take it easy. And everything will just come to your way when you just don’t force it. So patience will be the word for May!
Let’s be patient. Let’s love more. Laugh more. And just let’s have fun living our lives, because it can be pretty much easy and lovable.


As I have not posted any photos recently, I will just post one from Kaş, Kaputaş.

Kaş , Kaputaş 

Isn't it just awesome?!

Love you all.xoxo


P.S. It's Earth Day by the way! Let's just think about it today. What can we do and what we should not do?!

Monday, April 13, 2015

My birthday wish

It’s really funny and interestingly weird that two years ago on my birthday I had this one and only wish; I wished Dreambox accepts me as a full-time employee, and now after two years, on the same day I am seeking a way out.


Again I am facing the same fears, same doubts and same efforts to prove myself I am enough. That I am perfect. 

Isn't it interesting? The effort we put to find the thing we think we love and then hopelessly we search for a shortcut to finish it? To get away from it as much as possible?!
I read a paragraph by Lillian Schneider which says: 

“Single people want relationships, settled people wonder if they’re missing out on something, traveling types miss stability, stable ones are restless, old friends want new friends, new friends miss old friends, and basically almost everyone my age has some dangling worry trailing around after them everywhere that they’re somehow not doing everything, that what they’re doing is not altogether the right thing, that they are missing out. … Do not be ashamed. The doubt is natural, and everyone you know – yes, even that person – carries it sometimes too. Allow yourself to be peaceful. Allow yourself satisfaction in what you have. If you really don’t like it, allow yourself permission to make changes.”

I think It's so true it worths reading couple of times over and over. 
On one hand it makes you hopeful that everyone else in this world are struggling, just like you, just like me! On the other hand it can make you dangerously hopeless: Why trying then? Why to put myself in so much pain and doubt. It seems nobody gets it at last. 
-it?-yeah, I mean happiness. I mean being content and reaching to the concept of being "enough". 
Maybe. But if you just give up, it does not feel right. You have to fight. You have to be wild at heart. 
The destination is all about the journey itself. About all the pain that moves through your veins and nerves and makes you cry loud. It's all about the love towards yourself, which you want the best for yourself. You are not happy with the sadness. You need to go higher, because you fucking deserve it. 


I've never ever said out loud my wish for my birthday, but this year I will. 


I wish I find a way that I know it's right. I wish for the best of me. I wish to find a job that I love it with all of my heart.... 

And I wish I find the thing that I realize I WAS BORN TO DO. And till I find it I will never give up. 

Love you all. 




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