Monday, December 29, 2014

What happened in 2014?


It’s getting close to the end of this year! Although I still assume Norooz as my new year, but this is another chance to write about my goals!

Photo from Free People Blog / Horoscope 

This year also I want to list the things that happened to me in 2014. You can also grab a paper and write with me. I wrote some questions, and I thought by answering them I can get a better perspective of how my year passed. And in this way I can really learn from my year.
I will post it after it's finished but I may add something after sometimes as I remember stuff more clearly. 

Questions I am eager to answer

What made me HAPPY in this year?
What made me SAD in this year?
When was I inspired?
When was I hopeless?
What made me cry?
Where did I visit?
What new experience I had?
Any new goals that I set this year for myself? Are they still there? If not, what changed them?
Good moments & bad moments (which you can find in the first couple of sentences)
Could I achieve my 2014 goals?
ॐ Music of the year . 

Here is my answers: (this post will be a hell of a long post!) 

Moments I was HAPPY in 2014 :

When we were on a trip to Kaş.
When we got Maya and every second that she made my life brighter and happier.
When I learned that Babak does not need to go to Beirut. (Never told him though)
When I dyed my hair pink.
When I cut my hair short.
When I started yoga.
When I went to Iran and saw all these friends who love me and miss me!
When I was able to stand in a crow pose for 4 sec!
When my dad sent me our family picture.
When we went dancing with our friends.
When I found my passion for yoga.
When I read the recommendation letter that Samila joon wrote for me.
When we made that stupid rap song with Cat on the rooftop. 
Most of the mornings, weekends or nights that I went out with Babak.
When I found out that Rick Cowley has emailed me.
And couple of not clear moments from the work. 

Moments I was ANGRY or SAD in 2014:

When my mom left after I was sick.
When we sent Sani to her owners to America.
When I realized that Mohammadreza is dead.
The days that I was really hopeless with my working life in DB, which was a LOT.
Each time I checked my bank account and figured out that I cannot support myself on my own.
Moments that somehow I found myself really lonely.
Moments that I missed my friends and needed someone to talk to heart to heart.
Moments I felt useless at work.
All the times that I wanted to leave the office but I had to stay late.
All the times when I missed my yoga class because of my work.
When the weather was rainy, cold and cloudy.
Times that I had fight with Babak.
All the times that I felt as a failure because I have given up art.
Times that I felt not enough.
All the times that I had to search news photos for our presentation at work. And I was sure that war is so close.
All the times that I felt very far from Babak. 
When I was damn tired and could not think or act properly. 

Moments I was INSPIRED in 2014:

Each time I checked yoga_girl social media.
Each time I read these inspirational articles online.
The day that I decided that I will try surfing and I have to prepare my body for it.
The day that Babak told me that my Turkish was good and he had not realized it.
Couple of nights that I went running.
After yoga.
When I found out about Rick Cowley Fyckit list.
When I noticed that even my friends are inspired by my passion towards yoga.
When Babak suggested me to go to Izmir and quit my work here in Istanbul.
When I chose my tattoo (have not done it yet though!) 
While doing "ab challenge" or yoga girl 21 days of challenge. 

Moments I was HOPELESS in 2014:

All the time that I was sure that I am not doing the thing I like.
All the time that I was sure that I don’t know what I like.

Things that made me cry in 2014: 

When Sani left.
When Kobani happened.
Whenever I read something about people having hard time, like war, poverty, etc.
When my mom left.
When I thought about our old house in Tehran.
When I missed my family.
When I thought about the little moments of being in Tehran.
When having fight with Babak, he said something really mean.
When I found out that Alireza's dad is sick.
When I was writing an email to Atlas because of her mom's death. 

Places I see in 2014: 

I went to west and south west of Turkey. Alaçatı, Kaş, İzmir, Selçuk. 

New experiences that I had in 2014: 

Being responsible for a puppy.
Going to yoga.
Starting to think about surfing as I am not a sportive person at all.
Handling a full-time job.
Handling life as an independent person. (It was a lot to take some days)
Flying with fly-sea-bird airplanes.
Getting stuck in an elevator.

Goals that I had in 2014: 

I wanted to apply for MA degree in America, I did not. I might be afraid. I am not sure about it.
I wanted to continue yoga and I did, because I love the life style that yoga brought to my life.
I wanted to go for a run each day. I did not continue it because the weather got freaking cold and rainy.
But I had made this list by the beginning of 2014 and I did 70% of it and I am grateful for that.

Music that was with me through 2014: 

-Follow the sun by Xavier Rudd
-Black as the night by Nahko Bear

What about you?
Do you have any more questions? Write me in the comment box so I add it here and answer it from my behalf.

Love Love Love

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Safa means pleasing;

Today I saw that Safa has shared one link on my facebook page. You’ve got to read it.

Speaking of Safa, I have to write about her here. I owe it to myself and our friendship.

Safa is Shadi’s sister, my very first friend. I remember before I had written about her.
Now Safa is here, in Istanbul. 
She’s four years younger than me. She’s studying anthropology in Denmark. And she’s been traveling all her life.
She has one of the biggest hearts in the world. She appreciates all the details. She has the cutest laugh and she’s all ears when you are sad.

In these three days, I learned to look more closely at matters in life and appreciate all of it.

I have to go, I have to finish everything and get back home as soon as possible, because tonight she will go backL

You have no idea how grateful I am for having her in my life. 

Monday, December 8, 2014

Friday of the months;

Hey everyone,

December is here. As I heard they call it “Friday of the months”; Meaningful, nah?
For me somehow it’s really a big, cloudy Friday!

I had a rough two weeks. There was this fucked up problem with my working visa and no one seemed to care enough to manage it. I was not in charge, otherwise I would do whatever it took to make it right.

Anyway, now it’s all ok. It’s fine now.
But it was like a sudden fist on my face to wake me up. I had to start somewhere. And I was lost. I am lost. But now at least I made a plan. I hope I can stick to it.

I am writing my new year resolution. It’s been one week now that I keep adding stuff into my list. When the time comes I will share it with you guys of course. It has three parts:

-Things to be done
-Things to be bought
-Things to work on

It has spiritual and physical perspective. I mean after all these lists that I have been making on daily basis, of course I get good at making one detailed one for new year.

You can also do it. I made a file in Google Drive, which by the way has a new UI.

Below I am putting the links that these days are making my days: )

For ones who love cooking: 

For ones who want a new playlist these days: 

Also try The National of course! 

Have fun.

Love you all. 

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Childhood days;

I want to believe that there’s nothing in the world like right and wrong.
I want to believe that our lives is about feelings, passion.

My mind is like diving into complicated feelings. Life has been hard lately. And I am tired of exploring my reasons for it. I want to be as much strong as I can, but these paradox in feelings are hitting me to the walls of I-don’t-know-what-the-fuck-is-going-on, and it’s so frustrating.
Music is trying its best to make me free of these tight strings. I am afraid of the day that music also fails.

Words words words. Faces. Believes. Talks. They are all around me, they are all in my head and I am carrying this huge tons of sadness that I even do not know where I’ve picked up.

I watched Elham’s animation today again. She made it when her dad died couple of years ago. And I started crying. Lately I cry a lot at work. And for some reason I cannot share them with B. My feelings feel stupid and unreal while facing him. I have not decided if it’s a good thing or not.

I need someone.

I don’t know who he/she is. 

Tuesday, December 2, 2014


Some days I think me and Cat, we write for each other here!

Cat, where is Silviye? : )

Tonight I will go to Ayo concert.


Love . Love. 
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