Thursday, January 22, 2015

Second Wedding is missed;

Today is one of my best friend’s wedding, and I am not there.

I am here, sitting behind the monitor, searching some photos for our next presentation and checking out the budgets for another project.

I am full of emotions right now. Anger, love, passion, home-sickness, hopelessness beside hopefulness as I think about life itself. 

She sent me a voice message in the morning telling me how much I have been missed in all these days, and when I tried to answer her message but I just burst into tears. Three times! Each time I closed my phone, walked a bit and again when I started to talk I could not help it and I cried.

Wish you all the bests Hediye, and sorry that I am not there with you. 

Love you.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Sun oh Dear Sun;

Hey hi,

Yeah. Two weeks of January has passed like a click on a camera shutter. And I just wonder.

Weather is still gloomy here in Istanbul, and sure will be for another three months at least. Sometimes I think I may get my tattoo in a shape of a sun, because it’s sun that keeps me warm and alive.
I didn’t have the chance to win a free yoga retreat with isurflife, but I can not even tell you how much I am happy getting to know people like Rick even though it is just through internet and unfortunately he has turned off his social media, and from time to time I think what will I do if I were him?

My very good friend just got married to his boyfriend and I probably can not attend their wedding. This is the second wedding from my friends that I miss, and beside my exhibition 2 years ago I really regret not being there.

I got my visa for two years. This part is done. B has started his own office with two of his friends. I wish them the bests. As he started working I am having hard time handling Maya. Most of the days she has to stay home alone and she gets so bored she does not sleep at night, so me or B have to stay up and play with her. I was never into having child of my own, I always dreamed of adopting three or four child, and I had never thought about being a mom. Don’t panic! I am still the same, but I am getting closer to that sense. I am getting familiar to the sense of responsibility towards someone who needs you. I might be getting closer to adopting. hahah. But still I know that I don’t want to have a child of my own.
As Maya does not sleep properly, I have found a chance to be awake while the sun rises. And God knows when was the last time that I see it coming up. I would be lying if I say I have forgot about my goals on my previous post. Till now I have been yoga and to tell you the truth I can see super mega changes in my body. And I am keeping my promise to my secret mantras. I am glad I put that amount of time for making them.
I think this year is the year to take care of myself and my goals.

I am also seeing these weird dreams lately that keep me thinking.

I will not go to Tehran for Norooz, and it will be a whole year that I have not seen my family, strange, nah?
It is. It really is. I thought I would be tangled not seeing them everyday but I managed it.

Today although I am having a hard day I have a smile in my heart.

Love you all.


Monday, January 5, 2015

Breathe, believe and receive!

Hi everyone,

Have you ever think about “Mantra”s?

I mean when was the first time you heard about them? Did you use them? Do they make you feel comfortable or you feel stupid while repeating your mantras?!

For me, the first time in my life I heard about mantras in this book. My boyfriend had broken up with me and I was very young and in love. I thought I could die with this broken heart, I needed some comfort, even talking to my friends was not helping, I needed more than that.

In the search for a real love, I started my mantras at the edge of 20. I used to write all the time, I used to repeat these mantras all the time, whenever I was sad I used to repeat that I am happy and grateful, and to tell you the truth I can never, ever disregard the effects and impacts of them on my life.
Now today let’s just take a moment, sit somewhere comfortable, drink something warm and delicious, grab a pen and your journal. Just start to write.

Me writing, relaxing and being grateful in weekend!

Write about the reasons you are proud of yourself. The changes that you wish to see in yourself. Make them simple, lovely phrases and repeat them in your meditation. Try to imagine it. Try to be it in your mind. Feel each aspect of it. And enjoy being it.

Healing Mantra by CarlyMarie
There’s nothing better in life than being grateful and hopeful for things yet to come!

Love you all.xoxo

Friday, January 2, 2015

What I hope to happen in 2015!

It’s the second day of 2015.
I am really happy I wrote about my 2014; it seemed like an extra load on my shoulders that I put down. It seemed like having a general overview of what had happened this year. I was able to see the dark parts much better, were they really dark? Or have I  just assumed that it’s the hard parts!?

Anyway, I started my new year at home, beside B and my dear dear dear Maya! Watching TV, talking, relaxing and I did yoga after 2 weeks. For one complete hour. It was a bless.

I had started to write my 2015 resolutions from couple of days ago & today I finished it. Here I will share it, and by each time that one is done, I will cross them from my list.

Wish you all the bests, and love in the world!

Breathe* :)

☮ Start my website
☮ Start my shop in Etsy, little illustrations :)
☮ Try not to think and talk about worthless matters.
☮ Being more strong physically
☮ Buy a blender and start drinking more juice and smoothies.
☮ Wash Maya’s teeth three times a week (Saturday/Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday)
☮ Do yoga each night at least 30 minutes and mindfulness meditation 10 minutes.
☮ Focusing on core strength and balance in asanas.
☮ Run each day 20 minutes
☮ Join the HaliƧ Marathon
☮ Start swimming from June.
☮ Learn to surf
☮ Visit at least two places (in or out of Turkey)
☮ Be more calm and tranquil
☮ Be more self-confident
☮ Try to wake up with the sun-rise each day.
☮ Improve my English / Get IELTS
☮ Apply for university
☮ Get my tattoo :D (it’s been in my list for two fucking years now. Haha)
☮ Keep going with my 52 week challenge of Jar!
☮ Spend more time loving people that liking their photos on social media.
☮ Read more books. ☮ Buy glasses ☮ Buy a perfect yoga mat
☮ Make my house more homey and more smart in the usage terms.
☮ Visit Cappadocia.
☮ Buy more plants.
☮ Learn more about the moon.
☮ Do some charity work.

*I learned from a friend to write “Breathe” at the end of emails. When you see it, for one second close your eyes, take a deep breath and be grateful for your being.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...