Mandala loving furious kinda girl;

The theme for yesterday was “Get Fearless” *.

I had to write the list of things that I am afraid of. I did.

Yes, I am afraid of heights, but no I won’t be dying looking down.
Yes, I am afraid of losing my loved ones, and no, I don’t keep thinking about it till I start to cry. Nah!
Yes, I am afraid of lizards, and yes I scream to death when one of them get close to me. (Maya ate one of them last week. Euuuurgh!)

Then somehow it was so clear for me. All I was thinking was the things that I was angry about.

Why am I angry this much?! Hm? Today Celik (A friend from work) told me anger comes from fear, you have to figure out what is it that you are furious about this much? 

And it made me think. I am not sure yet. But I think I have to meditate upon it more.

Also I want to buy a notebook and start my Mandala therapy.

Love you all. 

* #getfearless

#getshitdone

Hey,

Yesterday I figured out that I had not written my 2014 resolution on my blog, and God I was pissed out. I know that I have written it somewhere else, I just have to find it.

I am far behind my flow with yoga girl challenge. Somehow I am doing it on & off but my mind is with is all the time.

Yesterday theme was Get Shit Done. You had to make a list with all the things you have to do, from clipping your nails, to what to do to be more successful in life for example.
I did it like this. September, Next six month and in my life.
I know what to do in my close future. I can easily make plans for next two month, but as soon as it gets close to a start of a bigger decision I give up.

Yeah. This is my low point.

I have not decided what to do about this university application. I had this huge discussion with B on Saturday night which made me think a lot. Niloo and Shokoofeh also talked to me. Hediyeh did too. I always admire her way of looking at life’s obstacles. She gave me the best resolution. But still have not found a proper time to analyze it.

I remember I named 2014, the year which I will figure out who I am and what I am doing. I came a very long way till I got here in these 8 months. I am sure in the next 4 months I can answer some more questions.

Today’s theme is get fearless. I have to prepare a list of all the things that I am afraid of. And then I have to meditate over them. Find the reason and let it go. Because we are all the strongest by nature.

Love you all.

eL.

How I blog?

Cocorrina asked her readers how they blog. 

She’s one of my favorites! I change my desktop every now and then with her designs, and the interesting thing is that usually her designs go with my daily flow of thoughts! Interesting, nah? I know!

How do I blog?

Let me start like this. If I don’t blog, I write in my journal. And I think writing is one of the things you have to force yourself to do, after sometimes you get so used in it that it becomes like a daily meditation. It helps you to get a better understanding of yourself and also tell you what? YOU will be others inspiration! Yes! For me, one of my inspirations are the ones who keep blogging or posting on instagram, etc. 

My other inspiration is music. If you look at my last.fm, you can see it! Of course beside my Spotify I use 8tracks, grooveshark and jango which is not scrobbling on my last.fm. 

Tumblr is also an inspiration. For nature I have to say the most! More than everything. My inspiration for writing or creating in nature can be too much that even thinking about it makes me inspired.

I have never ever scheduled my posts. Maybe that’s why sometimes I write too much, and sometimes I don’t.

But I know that the blogs which have their own way of thought, or are creating designs and ideas on daily basis can be more popular and more inspiring. People are inspired by those blogs most of the times.

I mean you have to have a clear theme. Like in life! :) 

Now I am asking you gherties, how do you blog? 

Love Love Love.xo

Plan for a miracle*

I MUA  is the song that I am listening to right now.

I will go to the volcano

Melt my heat in Mauna keas snow.

I will go to the volcano

Melt my heat in Mauna keas snow.

Get waist deep, yeah get barreled.

All the gifts returned tenfold

I will go to the volcano.

I will go to the volcano.

Melt my heart in Mauna keas snow

Melt my heart in Mauna keas snow.

Hell, good thing i don’t require much.

Makes it easier to move and stand straight up.

A little tough love and the gentle touch.

The more i struggle the more I’m stuck.

The less i speak the more i know.

The faster i move the slower i go.

I will go to the volcano.      

Melt my heart in Mauna kea’s snow!

Lately I am reading a book about “JOY”.  You might have read it. In the first half of the book, it talks about the difference between joy, happiness, pleasure and bliss. And how easily we can mixed their meaning with each other. We think we are happy, but it’s only pleasure. We think it’s a moment of joy, but it’s the one and only moment of bliss.
It’s so interesting.

For some reason I love to spend my whole life learning about these stuff about myself.

What about you? Can you distinguish these from each other in your life?

This weekend was relaxing. On Saturday, it rained the whole morning. Sadaf came here around 4, and we went to have a “huge” lunch in Bagdad Caddesi. We were hungry as if we had been stoned for couple of hours! LOL. At night we were dead tired.

Today I went to yoga. Guys, believe me or not I am getting much more better!!! I may start Ashtanga yoga soon. And we have started kicking our legs off the mat and sending them one by one to the air in addition to start hand stand! I am so excited (Happiness:D) 

Also with Ozge and Sam we had started a 30 Day Plank Pose Challenge. You can also start it. I am in third day, and my lower stomach is feeling lively.

Preparing my dear fruit salad;

Maya, looking at the fruit salad; 

Have an awesome week!

LOVE LOVE LOVE. 

eL. 

* By Osho

Cute little fury thing;

Maya's hand. 

“The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences.” *

Hey ghertis,

Sunday will be over in couple of hours. As u know here we had a five days holiday, then two days of work and again the weekend. I can not believe that it’s over. My disbelief is so strong on some level I wanted to pack everything and go back to Tehran! Not that I hate my job, seriously I don’t hate it. But I just want to spend more time with me. Blogging. Walking in the streets of Istanbul, taking pictures. And day dreaming,…ah! Day dreaming.

Slowly I am collecting everything to apply for MFA . You have no idea how frustrating it can be. One day I am full of hope, the next day I hate all the projects that I have done , and I start to count the money that I must spend and in the exact same moment I see Christopher McCandless 's face in front of me. Then I start to question my purposes in life. And it all end up in 45 minutes of yoga, struggling not to let Maya on my mat. It’s finished by then.

Lately, I see B so far from me. I miss a friend. I just don’t know who. I just need a friend so damn much!
I just want to sit somewhere think about my life, what friends I want to have, where I want to go, what I want to do, and then I want to get stuck in there.

My piece of art - Done couple of years ago - When I know music will be my everything.

But I believe in lobe within me. It moves me to right places each time.

LOVE LOVE LOVE. 

* From Cristopher McCandless book