Dear September; My house

 Dear September, 

You came to my life with so many things. With beach, with sun, with laughter and cry. You came to my life with inspiration, love and also you brought sickness. You gave me time to recover. You reminded me of mountains and the sun. You reminded me of the butterfly in my stomach when he holds my hand. You also dragged me to me fears. I had to face them all over again because of you. If there were no September this year, I didn't need to see the darkness. I didn't need to feel helpless. But you gave them all to me. You forced me to take it. And I have to say, you know how to wrap that ball of darkness into beautiful wrapping paper with colourful glitters. Yeaah. Your existence always was a bit twisted in my life. 

And still is not over. We seem so lost in your time dear September. 

October; oh my gentle October

 Dear October, 

Today you are raining. Enough of being a people pleaser, yeah?! It's okay. Cry. Shed those tears on me. I will be the shoulder for you. 

I was talking to Bamika the other day & we were discussing the fact that how often we forgot what a long way we came to get where we are. I was telling them what Anamika told me and we decided to remind each other that we need to compare us with ourselves. Not with others. 

I did come a long way. Every little piece of my soul, I dug deep, found the very beginning of me. Then I helped it rise. I fought, oh I fought with my blood and bones. I am proud of myself. I have a long way to go. I should not step back. I should raise my head high and take a big step. A strong step. And I will do it. 

I wrote this to remember. I wrote this because I am me. 

Love, 
E.

Light in the dark;

 When work is shit, this guy makes me find the light in the dark. 

Photos with stories

 I see this face on this photo in Victoria and Albert museum. And I fall in love with life all over again. 

I see this face on this photo and I think, "Good for you!". 

Be who you are and enjoy your life. 

Last week of September

 Just look at this face!!! I can look at him for many many years. 

Rhythm change

You hold me close and my heart beats different.

Day 29: Self isolation

Today in Iran and tomorrow in UK is my birthday.

So blessed for all the lovely friends I have!

So so so blessed for the journey I am in.

So much love in me.

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you <3

Aurora and I; social distancing

Happy birthday Elina.

Have a reminder for your 'Happiness Capacity'

There's a hidden joyful epiphany in finding your drafts when writing. The words you used, that you had forgot. The feelings that got faded away in time...

I got that today with finding a very old draft. 

I decided on a 30 day yoga today. I need to make a change. I need to bring light in my life again. 

Xmas dinner in the castle with loved ones

*I should always remember this smile, this night and how happy I can be.

Start over

Well, new year started. With loads of love, kisses and hugs.
Someone died. I cried. A lot.
I feel for my country. I miss my land.

But never have I ever experienced a deeper love that I feel for my family and friends. I feel a warm hand holding my hand, helping me to stand up on my feet.

And walk again. Run again. Be me again!

All Day I Dream

Well... you meet some people by accident one day in a party and bam! one year later they become your sisters, brothers, best friends, family, loved ones. . .

All Day I Dream - August 2017

All Day I Dream - August 2018

Love Love Love;

It's November;

The last months of 2015 seem to be full of changes. Really. Look around you.

It's all there.

Hope yours is good.

My friends are pregnant. Some of them are getting married. Some of the are moving on. Some are changing house. Some are changing countries. Some are getting used to the new life. New rituals. Some wounds are healing. Some are making new decisions. Life styles.

I can see the real life when I look around. Seems like a fast forward of a beautiful drama.

For me is the same. Of course. And I get depressed a lot. Don't worry. It's because of November. It brings kinda depression that you praise happiness. It's a kind of feeling that completes senses. U know?

Wish you all the bests.

Love .

eL.

Jump. Feel the air.

Hey.

As soon as I saw that Safa has wrote I was like when did I quit writing?

For me fall came without any prelude, like a single note of piano and I got lost in its echo. The sound is still in my head and I am swirling in it. So beautiful.

Days are passing behind my white desk and monitor and thousands of wishes and hope. Days are passing with quick kisses on lips and 20 minutes of walking in park with Maya and a messed up house. 

My friend died. Two months ago and I didn’t know. I am checking my f***ing facebook and I didn’t see it. They showed it on TV and I didn’t see it. My friends changed their photos into a black space but I didn’t see. Yesterday I spent mourning inside for her. One of these days, these simple-behind-the-desk kind of days she smashed her head while jumping from a 20 meter waterfall. I keep imagining the moment that she jumped. For sure she was so excited. For sure it took her just a second. If I close my eyes I can clearly understand what it feels when you jump. You can hear your friends shouting from excitement. Then you jump into the air. It’s all about the flying. Sound of nature. Then you touch the water and that’s it.
For her it was a bit different. For her she could not come out. She was brought out of the water. She had her loved ones crying, … . But still it is so beautiful. So unique. And I believe in death for being unique. Don’t you?

Lately I think about death a lot. It has become real to me. It has become simple for me. And I think it's comforting. Right?

I just want to ask you to close your eyes for 3 minutes. Be quiet and still. Breathe. Be grateful for this lives of ours. 

Dear Sheida, rest in peace dear. I will never forget you. 

Love.

eL.

Joy, love and peace;

I am back to Istanbul.

Cappadocia was awesome. The landscape was breath-taking. All those caves and stones were just so beautiful.

From the second day the weather got better so we could go out and explore the valleys and open air museums around. i will post the photos in flickr shortly.

With Mark and Jessica we walked, talked and laughed. We talked about life, love, death and how amazing life can be. We talked a lot about how I should record this video that I want to send to surf office, at the end we didn’t. When I got back I recorded it on the way to Mina’s house. I sent them last night. Let’s hope for the best. Cat says, “you should not be worried about things you can not control”, and I keep repeating it to myself.

Back to Cappadocia, I met a group of friends and we had such a good time with all of them. It’s really interesting when people come out of their shells and how they share, laugh together.

I really appreciate it.

I am busy right now and can’t write the way I want.

Enjoy the photo below till I share rest of them on flickr:)

Bests.

eL.

Safa means pleasing;

Today I saw that Safa has shared one link on my facebook page. You’ve got to read it.

Speaking of Safa, I have to write about her here. I owe it to myself and our friendship.

Safa is Shadi’s sister, my very first friend. I remember before I had written about her.

Now Safa is here, in Istanbul. 

She’s four years younger than me. She’s studying anthropology in Denmark. And she’s been traveling all her life.

She has one of the biggest hearts in the world. She appreciates all the details. She has the cutest laugh and she’s all ears when you are sad.

In these three days, I learned to look more closely at matters in life and appreciate all of it.

I have to go, I have to finish everything and get back home as soon as possible, because tonight she will go backL

You have no idea how grateful I am for having her in my life. 

Things we forget;

Smart phones are toxic.

Not because they keep you apart from what is out there, nah! Because they make you forget about your camera! And how much fun you can have taking photos with real cameras!

Charge their batteries again. Start using them.

Maya

Maya

Love you all.

eL. 

#100happydays No.1

Here is starts a series of my happy days.
Waking up on a holiday morning. Nice weekend.
You too. Start a series .

http://100happydays.com/

"Sani" ; Story of a challenge

What will make you do something you have not done before? 

This is what happened about us getting a cute little dog for only two months . 

"Sani" was belonged to an Iranian girl , who was a refugee in Turkey . As her documents were ready to fly to United States , for some reason she couldn't bring her dog with her . 

"Sani" changed couple houses in less than a year , we have no idea what she has eaten or how she was treated . 

Me and my boyfriend heard the news and accepted her to live with us for two months until one of our friends take her to United States . 

It's been one months and a half that "Sani" is living with us , and beside happiness and joy she has brought more love with her to our house. 

I never thought I would love a dog this much . I was more a "people" person than an "animal" lover , u know? But seriously I am thinking about getting one . And I have understood the love of my friends towards every single dog that they see just for a moment in the streets . 

I would miss her a lot when she leaves us . 

The only think I can do is to take pictures from her as much as I can . You can follow the photos on my instagram too. 

After bath

With Babak

Love . xo

eL. 

Women instead of Men.

Hi ! 

If you are wondering about this photo.... Check my Behance .

: ) 

Photos , Photos , Photos .

He's my inspiration now. 

It's been like a year and a half that it's like that ... 

xo. 

eL.