Day 45: Self isolation

A man with taste is sexy.

One of my birthday gifts from him. He knows me well. And it is so beautiful.

My rainy day and you by Giulia Rosa

Giulia Rosa's illustrations.

Love,
Elina

Day 31: Self isolation

HelenXx

No caption, just love <3

tbt

I miss my times with pen and ink. 

And all at once summer collapsed into fall;

Good Morning. Late good morning though.

Before I start anything I want to thank The WHO for Baba O’Reily. I want to shout as hard as I can every single word of it. It’s become the only reason I put my headphones in my ears and take a deep breathe in late summer breeze these days.

Remember before I talked about joy a bit? And today I am joyful. I am grateful for Maya, my cute dog, and for B who stands beside me no matter what!

Change is near for me. And I don’t mean geographically. I mean for me and within me.

I am getting closer and closer to write a letter to my future. I guess I am getting better and better with picturing my fears. My happiness. My fingers are all alive again. Last week, I went to D&R (a bookstore in Istanbul) and bought a Moleskine sketch book. I have started a daily practice of mandalas. I am practicing my meditation much more. Again I am feeling this rush of drawing.

I am so inspired. 

Mandala loving furious kinda girl;

The theme for yesterday was “Get Fearless” *.

I had to write the list of things that I am afraid of. I did.

Yes, I am afraid of heights, but no I won’t be dying looking down.
Yes, I am afraid of losing my loved ones, and no, I don’t keep thinking about it till I start to cry. Nah!
Yes, I am afraid of lizards, and yes I scream to death when one of them get close to me. (Maya ate one of them last week. Euuuurgh!)

Then somehow it was so clear for me. All I was thinking was the things that I was angry about.

Why am I angry this much?! Hm? Today Celik (A friend from work) told me anger comes from fear, you have to figure out what is it that you are furious about this much? 

And it made me think. I am not sure yet. But I think I have to meditate upon it more.

Also I want to buy a notebook and start my Mandala therapy.

Love you all. 

* #getfearless

“The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences.” *

Hey ghertis,

Sunday will be over in couple of hours. As u know here we had a five days holiday, then two days of work and again the weekend. I can not believe that it’s over. My disbelief is so strong on some level I wanted to pack everything and go back to Tehran! Not that I hate my job, seriously I don’t hate it. But I just want to spend more time with me. Blogging. Walking in the streets of Istanbul, taking pictures. And day dreaming,…ah! Day dreaming.

Slowly I am collecting everything to apply for MFA . You have no idea how frustrating it can be. One day I am full of hope, the next day I hate all the projects that I have done , and I start to count the money that I must spend and in the exact same moment I see Christopher McCandless 's face in front of me. Then I start to question my purposes in life. And it all end up in 45 minutes of yoga, struggling not to let Maya on my mat. It’s finished by then.

Lately, I see B so far from me. I miss a friend. I just don’t know who. I just need a friend so damn much!
I just want to sit somewhere think about my life, what friends I want to have, where I want to go, what I want to do, and then I want to get stuck in there.

My piece of art - Done couple of years ago - When I know music will be my everything.

But I believe in lobe within me. It moves me to right places each time.

LOVE LOVE LOVE. 

* From Cristopher McCandless book

Girl with yellow background

eL. 

Hands: Chapter 3

“I want your hand without the skin. Bone to bone without the molds. Mouth to mouth, without the porn." 
- Coco J. Ginger

*Photo by me .
*Drawing of the bones by me too . Pen on paper.

Dolunay means fullmoon

Hi guys , 

good morning to you all !
As I'm writing to you the first rays of sun is reaching my bare feet . And it feels just right . 

Last night my friends came over and I slept pretty late , but today in the morning I'm as energetic as a stalk of whipped asparagus! 
I was searching for awesome Apps & I found these , thought you might like it too : 

-My wonderful days lite which is a private diary and it's so cute ! 
-EyeEm which has several filters for your photos , and again you can apply instagram filters on them. 
-Voxer which I'm sure you are familiar with it : ) 
And I'm using a Turkish podcast which I don't think you need it :D 

Anyway , as you must know about my passion towards Marc Chagall , today I realized that one of my good friends has made an animation about it . And I just loved it . I put the link for you. 

First photo of my instagram

Here you go with DOLUNAY . 

Hope you like it . 

eL.

Back to life of lines

Back in my country , I always drew . I mean I was famous among my friends for "always having my sketch book with me" ; But here I somehow wasn't inspired .
But Spring is here . And I'm all the same old Elina , who has her sketch book with her all the time .

Here are some sketches that lately I've done .

Hope you like them .

Out of my imagination.

A little scene from work.

A Turkish guy , waiting for ferry.

xo.

eL.

Make a wish and place it in your heart

Hi guys !

As I'm writing here there's one of those nice sun lights in our house .

Istanbul under the sunlight . 

I have a big smile on my face , cause once again I'm surrounded by the magic of Spring .
They accept me for that job I've told you about . It's a great design and visual company ; Right now I'm participating in an animation program for Çocuk Bayramı (Which means the children's day) as a production assistant .
I was wishing for that in Norooz !
Yesterday when I was on my way to home , I recalled this :

Make a wish and place it in your heart.
Anything you want.
Everything you want
Do you have it? Good.
And now believe it can come true
You never know where the next miracles gonna come from.
The next smile.
The next wish come true
But if you believe that it’s right around the corner
And you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it
You might just get the thing you’re wishing for
The world is full of magic you just have to believe in it

So make your wish
Do you have it?
Good. Now believe in it. With all your heart.*

And I believe it! 

May everyday be bright , and your heart full of light . 

eL.

*From "One Tree Hill" tv series . 

Decaf Clouds

Crazy . Like Istanbul's weather .

Crazy . Like me. 

But I hope I'm not as crazy as Istanbul weather . It's been raining for two days . It makes me depressed.
I'm learning Maya (Character animating) from one of my friends here . Such a hard software . Of course I'm learning a lot about human's body, the bones & the muscles but on the other hand I'd rather work with my hands . I'd rather make something with my hand . 

I don't know but I need some confirmation on my job , my drawings , my photos which I haven't found here in Istanbul. 

Do you think us as artists need confirmation? Or should be be so strong to live our life no matter how ignorant people around us act? 

I'm losing my self-confidence . 

Below is one of my drawings . Deformation . You can see the lines and how alive they are even though they are representing a dying flower.