All by myself;

 When I was young

I never needed anyone

And making love was just for fun

Those days are gone

Livin' alone

I think of all the friends I've known

When I dial the telephone

Nobody's home

All by myself

Don't wanna be

All by myself

Anymore

Lyrics: Eric Carman

Singer: Celin Dion

Day 48: Self isolation

I want to close my eyes and listen to music.
All day.

Day 32: Self isolation

Ciao amore, 

Everyday, love is growing in me, more and more. 

Elina

Day 11: Self isolation

Listening to De Sluwe Vos & his live sunset set. 

Well. Staying at home is not the easiest when it is forced.

Today G seems disoriented. Not focused. I'm okay though. My body HURTS from the exercises we did in the past two days.

Weather is still amazing. I sat outside in the balcony for good amount of time. I am trying to find little joys. Like asking him to sing for me. Or having a coffee together.

We are going basics.

Toilet

Today we had left-overs. And pizza is waiting for us for dinner.

Hang in there,
Elina

Music.

Music existed for me long before I even realize it.

I fell in love with a boy when I was listening to a music even before I met him.

First time I got my heart broken it was with a song.

My love at first sight started with a song again.

Music is everything.

What happened in 2014?

Hey!

It’s getting close to the end of this year! Although I still assume Norooz as my new year, but this is another chance to write about my goals!

Photo from Free People Blog / Horoscope 

This year also I want to list the things that happened to me in 2014. You can also grab a paper and write with me. I wrote some questions, and I thought by answering them I can get a better perspective of how my year passed. And in this way I can really learn from my year.
I will post it after it's finished but I may add something after sometimes as I remember stuff more clearly. 

Questions I am eager to answer : 

ॐ What made me HAPPY in this year?

ॐ What made me SAD in this year?

ॐ When was I inspired?

ॐ When was I hopeless?

ॐ What made me cry?

ॐ Where did I visit?

ॐ What new experience I had?

ॐ Any new goals that I set this year for myself? Are they still there? If not, what changed them?

ॐ Good moments & bad moments (which you can find in the first couple of sentences)

ॐ Could I achieve my 2014 goals?
ॐ Music of the year . 

Here is my answers: (this post will be a hell of a long post!) 

Moments I was HAPPY in 2014 :

When we were on a trip to Kaş.
When we got Maya and every second that she made my life brighter and happier.
When I learned that Babak does not need to go to Beirut. (Never told him though)
When I dyed my hair pink.
When I cut my hair short.
When I started yoga.
When I went to Iran and saw all these friends who love me and miss me!
When I was able to stand in a crow pose for 4 sec!
When my dad sent me our family picture.
When we went dancing with our friends.
When I found my passion for yoga.
When I read the recommendation letter that Samila joon wrote for me.
When we made that stupid rap song with Cat on the rooftop. 

Most of the mornings, weekends or nights that I went out with Babak.
When I found out that Rick Cowley has emailed me.
And couple of not clear moments from the work. 

Moments I was ANGRY or SAD in 2014:

When my mom left after I was sick.
When we sent Sani to her owners to America.
When I realized that Mohammadreza is dead.
The days that I was really hopeless with my working life in DB, which was a LOT.
Each time I checked my bank account and figured out that I cannot support myself on my own.
Moments that somehow I found myself really lonely.
Moments that I missed my friends and needed someone to talk to heart to heart.
Moments I felt useless at work.
All the times that I wanted to leave the office but I had to stay late.
All the times when I missed my yoga class because of my work.
When the weather was rainy, cold and cloudy.
Times that I had fight with Babak.
All the times that I felt as a failure because I have given up art.
Times that I felt not enough.
All the times that I had to search news photos for our presentation at work. And I was sure that war is so close.
All the times that I felt very far from Babak. 

When I was damn tired and could not think or act properly. 

Moments I was INSPIRED in 2014:

Each time I checked yoga_girl social media.
Each time I read these inspirational articles online.
The day that I decided that I will try surfing and I have to prepare my body for it.
The day that Babak told me that my Turkish was good and he had not realized it.
Couple of nights that I went running.
After yoga.
When I found out about Rick Cowley Fyckit list.
When I noticed that even my friends are inspired by my passion towards yoga.
When Babak suggested me to go to Izmir and quit my work here in Istanbul.
When I chose my tattoo (have not done it yet though!) 

While doing "ab challenge" or yoga girl 21 days of challenge. 

Moments I was HOPELESS in 2014:

All the time that I was sure that I am not doing the thing I like.
All the time that I was sure that I don’t know what I like.

Things that made me cry in 2014: 

When Sani left.
When Kobani happened.
Whenever I read something about people having hard time, like war, poverty, etc.
When my mom left.
When I thought about our old house in Tehran.
When I missed my family.
When I thought about the little moments of being in Tehran.
When having fight with Babak, he said something really mean.
When I found out that Alireza's dad is sick.
When I was writing an email to Atlas because of her mom's death. 

Places I see in 2014: 

I went to west and south west of Turkey. Alaçatı, Kaş, İzmir, Selçuk. 

New experiences that I had in 2014: 

Being responsible for a puppy.
Going to yoga.
Starting to think about surfing as I am not a sportive person at all.
Handling a full-time job.
Handling life as an independent person. (It was a lot to take some days)
Flying with fly-sea-bird airplanes.
Getting stuck in an elevator.

Goals that I had in 2014: 

I wanted to apply for MA degree in America, I did not. I might be afraid. I am not sure about it.
I wanted to continue yoga and I did, because I love the life style that yoga brought to my life.
I wanted to go for a run each day. I did not continue it because the weather got freaking cold and rainy.
But I had made this list by the beginning of 2014 and I did 70% of it and I am grateful for that.

Music that was with me through 2014: 

-Follow the sun by Xavier Rudd
-Black as the night by Nahko Bear

What about you?
Do you have any more questions? Write me in the comment box so I add it here and answer it from my behalf.

Love Love Love

And all at once summer collapsed into fall;

Good Morning. Late good morning though.

Before I start anything I want to thank The WHO for Baba O’Reily. I want to shout as hard as I can every single word of it. It’s become the only reason I put my headphones in my ears and take a deep breathe in late summer breeze these days.

Remember before I talked about joy a bit? And today I am joyful. I am grateful for Maya, my cute dog, and for B who stands beside me no matter what!

Change is near for me. And I don’t mean geographically. I mean for me and within me.

I am getting closer and closer to write a letter to my future. I guess I am getting better and better with picturing my fears. My happiness. My fingers are all alive again. Last week, I went to D&R (a bookstore in Istanbul) and bought a Moleskine sketch book. I have started a daily practice of mandalas. I am practicing my meditation much more. Again I am feeling this rush of drawing.

I am so inspired. 

How I blog?

Cocorrina asked her readers how they blog. 

She’s one of my favorites! I change my desktop every now and then with her designs, and the interesting thing is that usually her designs go with my daily flow of thoughts! Interesting, nah? I know!

How do I blog?

Let me start like this. If I don’t blog, I write in my journal. And I think writing is one of the things you have to force yourself to do, after sometimes you get so used in it that it becomes like a daily meditation. It helps you to get a better understanding of yourself and also tell you what? YOU will be others inspiration! Yes! For me, one of my inspirations are the ones who keep blogging or posting on instagram, etc. 

My other inspiration is music. If you look at my last.fm, you can see it! Of course beside my Spotify I use 8tracks, grooveshark and jango which is not scrobbling on my last.fm. 

Tumblr is also an inspiration. For nature I have to say the most! More than everything. My inspiration for writing or creating in nature can be too much that even thinking about it makes me inspired.

I have never ever scheduled my posts. Maybe that’s why sometimes I write too much, and sometimes I don’t.

But I know that the blogs which have their own way of thought, or are creating designs and ideas on daily basis can be more popular and more inspiring. People are inspired by those blogs most of the times.

I mean you have to have a clear theme. Like in life! :) 

Now I am asking you gherties, how do you blog? 

Love Love Love.xo

Plan for a miracle*

I MUA  is the song that I am listening to right now.

I will go to the volcano

Melt my heat in Mauna keas snow.

I will go to the volcano

Melt my heat in Mauna keas snow.

Get waist deep, yeah get barreled.

All the gifts returned tenfold

I will go to the volcano.

I will go to the volcano.

Melt my heart in Mauna keas snow

Melt my heart in Mauna keas snow.

Hell, good thing i don’t require much.

Makes it easier to move and stand straight up.

A little tough love and the gentle touch.

The more i struggle the more I’m stuck.

The less i speak the more i know.

The faster i move the slower i go.

I will go to the volcano.      

Melt my heart in Mauna kea’s snow!

Lately I am reading a book about “JOY”.  You might have read it. In the first half of the book, it talks about the difference between joy, happiness, pleasure and bliss. And how easily we can mixed their meaning with each other. We think we are happy, but it’s only pleasure. We think it’s a moment of joy, but it’s the one and only moment of bliss.
It’s so interesting.

For some reason I love to spend my whole life learning about these stuff about myself.

What about you? Can you distinguish these from each other in your life?

This weekend was relaxing. On Saturday, it rained the whole morning. Sadaf came here around 4, and we went to have a “huge” lunch in Bagdad Caddesi. We were hungry as if we had been stoned for couple of hours! LOL. At night we were dead tired.

Today I went to yoga. Guys, believe me or not I am getting much more better!!! I may start Ashtanga yoga soon. And we have started kicking our legs off the mat and sending them one by one to the air in addition to start hand stand! I am so excited (Happiness:D) 

Also with Ozge and Sam we had started a 30 Day Plank Pose Challenge. You can also start it. I am in third day, and my lower stomach is feeling lively.

Preparing my dear fruit salad;

Maya, looking at the fruit salad; 

Have an awesome week!

LOVE LOVE LOVE. 

eL. 

* By Osho

And it will be alright

Slow down. Take your time. And it will be alright.

Maybe when Imany decided to sing this, she had no idea that it will be alright. For real.

These days I am so damn inspired. Sometimes I am afraid that I might die soon. LOL.

Yes, I get angry. I get angry and I say the worst words that come to my mind. I say them. But in my heart I have this fire of hope that I know it will never fade out.

I see people around me; their problems. Their anger when something goes wrong. Their happiness when they achieve something and so on.

For me yoga and art have become a way to express it all. Colors have become the language. Forms have become my accent. In between all these curves, you can find me. This is how I curve this line. This unique line of my life. With love and passion. Each time I press my both hands on my mat, and I feel the rush of blood under my skin, I know I am alive. Then I will take a deep breath. And I will start it with down ward facing dog. And my spine just gives me this incredible feeling of liveliness.

This is life. Love is all around us. I just can’t wait to give all my love to the next person I run into. If you do not see it, just slow down. Take your time. And it will be alright. 

love to you all. 

eL.