Edge of Freshness

Today is Saturday.

And I stayed in. I just could not move from the bed. I could not listen to music. I was not in the mood to talk. Sometimes I have these episodes of loneliness. And it feels great.

It's not all sadness. It's a complex of sadness, stress, inspiration, anger and gratefulness. It's not weird, believe me. But it can be frightening for me.

I have to work on being happy more. I have to work on being independent when it comes to my feelings. No one is responsible for things I feel.

I am at the edge of starting again. I have to start real fresh.

Love you all. 

London transition

Great.

Heavy rain in 1st of June. London. Yes, I am here in London, and yes I love (adore) the sun, but NO, I don't hate London weather. At least I keep focusing on its beautiful side. In this weather you get to enjoy your coffee and warm socks and cosy clothes always. You will enjoy when your fluffy friend (in my case, Maya) comes and sits on my feet.

Change of weather is a sign for me for a bigger change. I am in somehow a transition here. My high and low is exaggerated. And guess what? I don't have my yoga mat with me. I left it behind in Istanbul. As much I were connected with it (cause I had my very first sun salutations on it), and I thought it will stay with me for life-time but the quality was bad and my hands kept slipping on it. So I don't know where it is but I am looking forward to get a new one as soon as I get my first pay check.
It has to be turquoise. Like the ocean. Yoga will bring me back to me.

I just want to be alone these days.

I will work on my painting today.

Love you all.

eL.